Family Ties
When I hear people say "blood is thicker than water," I honestly just laugh. Biologically speaking, sure, blood is more viscous than water, but...so what. What is that supposed to mean anyway? According to the German proverb, it means that the bonds of family and ancestry are stronger than the bonds between unrelated people. I have to disagree.
I look at some people in my family and ask a simple question: "If they weren't family, would I choose to be friends with them?" For the most part, my answer would be "definitely." I am blessed to have some truly awesome people in both my immediate and extended families. However, there are a few that I would answer a resounding "NO" to. They are those people that just make you scratch your chin and wonder what went wrong. Maybe evil incarnate isn't such a far fetched idea after all.
I've learned that in our times of need and sorrow, we discover who our real friends are and who our real family are. Forget who we share DNA with, it's much more important to consider who we share empathy with; who we share compassion and understanding with; who we simply share love with.
I guess there is probably a "pack of wolves" in every family. They display the basic traits of Alpha personalities and constantly struggle to maintain dominance and superiority. At the first sign of weakness, they turn on each other and kill or run off the weaker member. They are a narcissistic breed with no need for love and no tolerance for imperfection. They are that small, symbiotic group that lives up in the crookedest branches of the family tree. I've heard it said that "the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree." Well, in this case, the fruit ended up miles away from the tree that spawned it. The fruit shows no affection for the wanton familial bloodlust displayed by these beasts.
We are so lucky to have the friends and neighbors we "choose" to have in our lives, as well as the wonderful family members whose blood we share. We are not so grateful for those we are bound to by blood tainted with selfishness and apathy. We have learned the hard way that some relationships are not worth salvaging and some people are not worth the effort it takes to hate. I believe that in life we reap what we sow and, for the sake of those wolves, I sincerely hope that karma is capable of mercy.
I look at some people in my family and ask a simple question: "If they weren't family, would I choose to be friends with them?" For the most part, my answer would be "definitely." I am blessed to have some truly awesome people in both my immediate and extended families. However, there are a few that I would answer a resounding "NO" to. They are those people that just make you scratch your chin and wonder what went wrong. Maybe evil incarnate isn't such a far fetched idea after all.
I've learned that in our times of need and sorrow, we discover who our real friends are and who our real family are. Forget who we share DNA with, it's much more important to consider who we share empathy with; who we share compassion and understanding with; who we simply share love with.
I guess there is probably a "pack of wolves" in every family. They display the basic traits of Alpha personalities and constantly struggle to maintain dominance and superiority. At the first sign of weakness, they turn on each other and kill or run off the weaker member. They are a narcissistic breed with no need for love and no tolerance for imperfection. They are that small, symbiotic group that lives up in the crookedest branches of the family tree. I've heard it said that "the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree." Well, in this case, the fruit ended up miles away from the tree that spawned it. The fruit shows no affection for the wanton familial bloodlust displayed by these beasts.
We are so lucky to have the friends and neighbors we "choose" to have in our lives, as well as the wonderful family members whose blood we share. We are not so grateful for those we are bound to by blood tainted with selfishness and apathy. We have learned the hard way that some relationships are not worth salvaging and some people are not worth the effort it takes to hate. I believe that in life we reap what we sow and, for the sake of those wolves, I sincerely hope that karma is capable of mercy.
I really loved your Family Ties blog. I just finished a course in school on advanced techniques for family systems counseling. Something I wrote in one of my assignments relates well (no pun intended) with your blog subject. "I believe there are many different types of families involving many different types of people. The definition of family in my eyes would be a group of people, blood related or not, who have an enduring relationship on an emotional level with common ties and who feel a responsibility toward each other".
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Wow Wendy, ur right on the money.
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